I Would Like To Hear

Ever since he was little, I could sense it in him. That determination to succeed, the drive to be greater than the person, that had their long shadow ahead of him………………

He was determined to be greater……………………

He fallowed his shadows caster everywhere, here and there, learning his ways, and admiring him. To a little kid all he saw was his greatness, yet his flaws, he could not understand them.

Like a little apprentice, he learned life lessons, “be as close to perfect as possible”, “never trust anyone” , “ if your not going to do something good, then don’t bother doing it at all”, words a little kid took in, and till this day he carries with him. Words his shadow’s caster, his father thought his son.

The father made him believe that there was something greater out there, because after all the father was a dreamer. A dreamer that his wishes, surpassed his reality, and still the son only saw one side of the picture, dreaming along with his father, saying “ someday”.

The days of that much awaited “someday” never came, yet the father ensured that it will, that all the child had to do was believe…………………

Years pass on by, now the son is an exact mold of his father, just simple contour lines………..the shadow that he wanted to surpass is no longer there, its far gone, so does the child believe?……………

At One With The Sea

My names Adam, I run a fishing boat with my three other friends, Frank, James and Luis. Its another morning like every other, but something tells me it wont be a very good day. The sky seemed upset in particular this day.

I didn’t pay much attention to it, and went on with my daily routines, I arrive fist at the boat as always, get the engine going, and fishing supplies ready. At first I had a little trouble getting the engine running but she got up and running. James, Frank and Luis arrive moments later. They get every thing on their end ready for departure. Life jackets, fishing rods and making sure the life boat was secure. So we set out for the ocean.

The sea did not look placid at all today. The waves moved as if they didn’t want us to be in the ocean, but as persistent as we where we kept going. Its about 3 in the after noon, and suddenly the sky turns black . Frank becomes a bit uneasy and walks up to me. Saying how the fishes aren’t biting. And all his lines are empty. He went on stating that he didn’t feel today’s trip.

As he finished discussing with me, the boat was rocked by the biggest wave of the day. Simultaneously Frank lands in the water, the engine goes out , and fires start developing downstairs. With that I’m split in three, the boat, Frank, and the flames. James and Luis didn’t hesitate to rescue Frank out of the water.

Now the boat’s rocking every where, back and forth. Waves here and there, and flames consuming the boat. There was only one option, abandon ship. We all make way to the life boat, and descend into the beast of the sea, as the sea currents take us away from the ship, in the horizon all I can see is a cloud of smoke, where my ship used to be, fires and our sinking ship. Skies as black as night how will we ever get home.

Yet Another Post

Lately I’ve been pondering over what I should write next for this blog. Am getting no where, don’t get me wrong I got titles for upcoming topics, the thing is the body its self of the post isn’t coming to me.

While I was thinking about my many topics, I thought about something. So now am wondering why do I write, its not like I get paid for it. If you have ever bothered to read the about me section, then you would know that my older brother got me writing, well writing a blog that is. Before I started this blog, I used to write, well jot down little, no I cant say little more like long “thought entries” as I like to call them, on my note section on my sidekick.

You can say this was/is my way to escape my mind, well not escape more like arrange my thoughts so that they would make sense in my mind. I don’t know if you have noticed but I spend a lot of time thinking. Some time I even get lost up there, walking the endless halls of my mind, thought, opinions, memories, worries stuff like that. But yeah back to the whole thing as to why I write.

Am not sure if you guys are aware but I left my art classes recently ( not that you guys care), and something my friend told me caught my attention. He stated that I left art because I haven’t found what I love, cause if art was it I would have never left it. All I told him was true, cause it was true. Art isn’t something I love, people may say oh how am so “good” but yet I know it’s a lie, am more of an “ok” artist, if you consider me an artist. So if art isn’t what I love is writing something I love?

Eh I would say its something am interested in, but unlike art I don’t think I would leave it, since its my way to escape my self, I will take long breaks from it, like this summer, but not leave it. I say I don’t love writing cause, to me I got a long way to go, me and grammar don’t mix, I just go with what sounds good. So how did I get 700 and so views on this blog, cause of my bad grammar? Wait no let me guess “cause I can write” na that’s not it, or is it? Let me guess your probably thinking this kid got talent, or he’s just full of him self.

I play baseball, draw, write, and people consider me smart, what’s next I can sing and dance as well, ah no I don’t sing nor dance not my type of things. But I really like listening to music. Ah now where getting somewhere Eldrix, music. I think this blog wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for music, I would be somewhat like you right now reading someone else’s blog, and gathering thoughts to write them down under this post under “post a comment” , with out really reading between the lines and fully understanding what I write down.

See music got me to where I am, well to be the person I am, along with lots of failures, and learning. See music got me thinking, thinking got me jotting down notes on my phone, jotting down notes got me writing a blog, that you all love and like to criticize. Music where would I be with out it, that reminds me, I honestly believe that, that the music you listen to does show the type of person you are, I tried showing my point of view on another post called music, but I totally failed on that one. So you see music, and my thoughts go hand to hand. ( not that you guys would be interested in my type of music, I like bow wow’s songs, yeah I said it. I like bow wow’s songs, your probably sitting there like ugh, his black ass rapping all that trash, well that trash is good.)

So in the end you can say I write to express how am feeling about a certain topic/opinion . Well I hope you enjoyed yet another one of my numerous boring topics, until next time. ………………wink

New posts coming soon

Hey long time I haven’t written anything down on my blog, for that I apologize, I hope I still got my readers. Well am not really writing in this post, I just want to share a few drawings of mine, with you guys.

The wolf picture I found it on Google, I just had to upload it. Enjoy.

Broken promise

Old man you lied to me. I had my hopes in you, you told me to trust
you...and I did, but like always you let me down.

Why do you chase after pipe dreams? Why. You always told me to think
about the future, and always do things so tomorrow you won't look back
and say " I should have done this, this way". But look at you, I know
you don't want to admit it but, I know your looking at your yesterdays,
thinking "I should have done this, this way."

I had hope in you, but guess with old age people don't change. I know
life is hard but damn, why you make so much mistakes? your ambition is
that to be admired, and your mistakes are those to be frowned upon.

You left because you wanted to, you thought we where going to be there
with you, but were not. You want to know why, ill tell you why (
although I know you'll never get to hear these words, cause I won't tell
em to you.) Where not there because you went back to your dreams, yes
YOUR dreams not ours.


I know you didn't mean to do it intentionally, for all you knew you
where thinking about us, but in the end it wasn't, now was it? In the
end it showed it was all about you. Now I find out that you want to
finish what wasn't finished, making that your first priority, but you
damn well know that's not your first priority. Then again it doesn't
matter, you can't do anything anyways, guess mom was right, in the end
you wanted to be the man of the house and take care of everything, but
your not superman, you won't take care of everything.

Your only option is to go see your two sons that you haven't seen in
years. And like them its our turn to live and feel what its like to live
with out a father. But its all good you do what you have to do.

I may look like you, act like you, share most of your dreams, but in the
end will be two different man, and I damn sure am not going to be
nothing like you. You came to most of my games, I would've wanted you to
be there for all of them. You worked hard for this family, but I
would've liked it if you spent more time with us, and not put your work
before anything. I know you loved to work but you also had 2 kids who
loved you and waited countless hours for you to get home.......

Now its my turn, your mistakes won't be my mistakes. Your ambition will
be my ambition, your dreams won't be my dreams, your determination will
be my determination, your ways won't be my ways.

Hope you get the best out of life and get what you always wanted. But
old man ill always remember your broken promise.

Two wondering souls

On a rainy day a man walked down the street with a solemn tone, walking with the rain as if they were one.

On his lonely journey he encountered a women standing under the rain looking up at the dark sky.

The man asked her as to why is she standing under the rain, looking at the sky in its darkest moments. The women smiled and said “the angles are crying” . The man smiled do to the fact that they shared the same point of view, as to why it rains. The man sat next to the standing women and gazed at the falling rain drops, not once looking at the women’s face, neither did she look at him.

Although they where complete strangers they somehow engaged in a conversation.

The women talked mostly, asking her questions. She asked why are you walking under the rain?
I walk under the rain so no one can tell whether am crying or not.

Why do you cry?
I normally don’t cry, guess I cry for no reason.

The man asked the question this time around, and asked. Why are you standing alone out here? She smiled and asked him, why where “you” walking alone in the rain? The man took a long pause and replied.
everyone walks alone, no matter how hard they try to deny it. None’s really with you no matter how close a friendship is, everyone is alone.

The women found the mans answer rather odd, and told him “ am not alone”
then you’re a fool ma’am, you cant see further then your nose, your blinded by what society wants you to think. Tell me will a friend really understand you, or simply “ pretend to understand you” . will a friend replace you with some one else, just cause the next person can take up their time better then how you took up their time. Will a friend listen to you, then turn their back on you and talk shit about you when your not around? If you got an answer to these things I would like an answer.

Again their was another long pause, then she spoke. I never said a “friend” was with me, thus not making me feel alone, you jumped the gun and assumed, then again you seem to have a deep wound concerning a friend or an ex friend. Which ever I don’t really care. But you need to learn to let things go my friend, holding a grudge will not solve things. Fuck the world and don’t get too attached to such things as to “friendship” let it all go. In the end theirs a set few things that are really with you “family members, and the one and only, your wondering shadow that’s their with you every step of the way”.

The man smiled and said to her,
never took you for the person to have such a point of view of the world, you seem to have a grudge as well.

All the women had to say after the man was done speaking, was “ these days , and nights are cold, people acting like they lost their way, and everywhere I go, I see another person like me trying to make it feel like home".

We all got a place to make it feel like home, no matter what. Theirs always a place to return to, a place where a person thinks of you is a place to return to, but the thing is when and how will you know when someone is thinking of you. That answer you must find it your self. Its funny that this is coming out of me the person that said your alone in this world .

They both exchanged a rather odd smile.

Seems like the sky doesn’t hold nothing back, when it comes to crying, it truly shows its emotions, with no regard as to what people think, tiny drops elegant in its own unique way, dancing its way down to earth, for its one moment of beauty, dropping and showing its waterworks’ , yet no one seems to pay much attention and over look its beauty. Guess we do live in a world full of ignorance.

She replied, “ that is true we do live in a world of ignorance, maybe one day we will live in a world with out ignorance, where people understand one another, and in a world where you wont hold grudges against one another. But until then guess you and me will be 2 wondering souls”.

The man replied
“Guess so”

With no hello or good bye, these two wondering souls went on their way, making it through this world of ignorance.

love

I'm sick of seeing this all the time, kids getting too attached to
friends, not that its a bad thing, but it gets bad when its time to let
go and they don't know how to.

I know they say never to go with the crowd but, will it hurt to try and
fit in somewhere, other then your family members. Sure we got friends,
but even still its as if we walk alone.

Kids now in days are all attached to their friends, doing everything
with them. I don't know whether I'm right or wrong but being too
attached to someone is a bad thing.


Girls these days stay in a heart breaking relationship cause "they
can't leave him" how pathetic. We all have a choice whether we want to
leave or not. Its sad hearing them talk and say "he's such a bad
boyfriend, yet I can't leave him cause he loves me and I love him". If
you love him and he loves you, then why's your relationship fucked up?
breakup on Thursday, get back together on
Friday, and brake up again on Sunday. A never ending circle. Yet you
call this love.

At this point I'm beginning to think that a lot of this young girls
don't know what love truly is, the hell I don't even know what it means.
Even still we throw that word around like its no big deal.

Girls falling for guys that aren't even worth there time, just cause the
look "hot". I'm sick of hearing this, at first it didn't bother me but
now I'm getting ticked of about it. Sick and tiered of guys tripping
over a girl who don't even recognize you for who your are. All to get
with the guy that's next to you.

So why do we cling on the people who hurt us? Why do the girls of now in
days like guys that are nothing but garbage? Why do we care so much?
Why?


why do I care so much?

In the long run they'll realize that the guy who they didn't know
anything about, who tried so hard to be their friend was truly the one,
instead they went with the wrong guy, that was standing next to him. The
girl who was "in love" was really "in hell" with the guy of her dreams,
all because he said "I love you"

We should all wake up and smell the roses, and not take life so
serious. Why rush it after all its only the start of a long journey, and
friends will come and go, remember most of your high school friends you
won't see them after graduation. Then again their are true friends who
stay in touch no matter what.

Cling to you

Have you ever had that one special someone..........................

Its as if time stands still as I write down these words............

I had it all, but as blind as a bat I lost it all, no not lost it, more
like let it go. Its like I can never get over you , but I'm sure your
over me, long over, so why do I still cling on to you?
.................................

Its not like your interested in me any more, I'm like yesterdays trash,
in the back of your mind, in a dark corner with little to no attention
what's so ever.

I got a chest full of pain, a head full of stress, and worst of all you
on my mind. I tell my self to let you go, but one way or another you
come back.

Why won't you just stay away, no you are staying away, I'm just
bringing you back into my mind. Its like I don't want anyone else but
you, why? I ask my self why!? Why I'm I so attached to you?

Ill find better but I doubt it will be any time soon, seems no one
wants me, seems I'm not good looking like the guy next to me, seems I'm
not that of an ass hole like every girl likes, seems like everything
goes away from me.

Girls hang around you, seem like their interested in you, then as time
goes by they tend to walk away, loose interest in you, like your
yesterdays toy. And that's true that's what you where to them,
yesterdays toy.

Look around you, theirs so much fake people you don't even know who's
real any more, and the person you knew is no longer the one you knew.

I'm tiered of missing you, and I'm not going to change for you, ill
always be here, but I'm tiered of chasing after you,

If you love something set it free, and if it doesn't come back to you,
it was never meant to be..............................

Just A Outsider

How do you go along being an outsider? Knowing no matter what you do you’ll never actually be one of them, the many who are one alike, the ones who all agree on one thing, but you, your just there like a worthless rag.

All your thoughts always go against to group. Your skills are one to be admired but you don’t get shit of attention cause of your skill, no not attention, more like no admiration. no one gives a crap, as to what you can do. They all want to see one thing and one thing only , the only thing your not good enough.

But in the end it doesn’t even matter, if you decide to pull back and leave, I’m sure no one would recognize your even gone. So why stay in a place where even though your there its as if your not. Your nothing but a mere shadow.

Theirs this thing inside of you that starts to boil up, the more you stay, the more the tension starts to build up. Its like adding more fire to boiling water, and sooner or later you’ll end up with nothing.

Why do you try so hard? So that when your doing a good job, when you look around everyone is doing a better job then you, at that one point you feel like, leaving what your doing and just walk away, why do you try so hard?

You know I’ve learned a lot, and its true no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you try , they will never see you the way you want to be seen. Its pathetic how people trust one another, and just to have them shut you out of their little circle of friends. To replace you with someone who at the beginning no one liked.


I’ve had it with all this, I wonder if one day ill just end up not showing up, would people miss me? Or would they just forget me like yesterdays trash? Guess ill never find out till I stop showing up, and turn my back to those who turned their backs to me.

I will never get to hear those words I want to hear, but it doesn’t matter. Change is always good ………………………


I’m sorry………………………………

He once said

A wolf once said. “Why do we humans look up at the sky, when we are facing hard times, as if we can sprout wings and fly away into the sky, and forget our worries. But we wolves use what we have, and keep moving on, and face what ever comes our way.”

This fellow wolf was right , as it is a natural instinct for wolves to keep moving on about, we humans tend to look up to the sky when ever things don’t seem to go our way. I guess when ever things go wrong we only have hope for the better, as if a cosmic power will wipe away all the worries and problems. But of course this wont happen.

We cant just have things go our way when ever we want them to, that’s not how life works. Unlike us the wolves all ready know this. They see us as worthless beings who always want more, and more, and always search for an easy way out of things. that’s why I come to think that they leave us alone, and lose all hope in us. But we on the other hand we give them a bad name because, we don’t understand them and we fear what we don’t know.

The unknown is something rather odd, we always ponder over what will happen, and waste time doing this. Why not stop pondering and walk a fine line and let the unknown be known along the way. Just like the wolves do. Guess we have to do the same thing with life, life is the unknown, and let walk the fine line of life and let itself play out on its own.

I once told my self things happen for a reason, but I came to forget my own words in the haze that clouded my mind these past months. I was about to walk out on something that could eventually become my life. But now the cloud, like every storm is clearing up and I once again see the light.

So like a wolf ill use what I have and face life, with what ever she throws at me.

High school

High school, many look back and say they hated it, some say they loved it, some just didn’t care.

High school what can I say about it. Nothing much, since am in high school my self, maybe in two years ill look back and say whether or not I liked it or not. But his is not the reason why am writing this post.

Have you ever thought back to your friends in elementary school? From 6th grade to 8th ? Have you ever thought back and see how close you guys where back then? All those years having each others back and willing to back them up no matter what? Then 8th grade rolled around, graduation everyone was all hyped up about it and saying nonsense as to “ friends for ever” . some keep these promises, other simply talk a lot of bull shit.

High school the way I see it is the biggest back stabbing time period in a teens life. She said this, she did this, he said this, he did this. And what not. A time where your emotions run wild, a time period where you want to look good to impress your sweet heart, the fact is she don’t even notices you, while she runs with the future low life’s, who sooner or later will flipping burgers. High school now I see why many hate it.

A time period where your elementary school friend, turn your back on you. A time where once they said they would never replace you, comes to a reality. You walk in the halls seeing them acting as if you don’t even exist. As if they never talked to you, and the bond that you guys once had is all gone and shattered like a rusted chain. isn’t it funny how the strongest of bonds simply break away. Sure friends come and go but the fact is that they replaced you for someone else. So wake up and accept it.

High school , a time of self character building. Now your not a little kid no more, you see and understand with a greater knowledge of the world around you. You begin to be your own person, your own self. You begin to set goals, dreams. But along with all these good things bad things always happen. Not only is high school a great place to find your self but it’s a place to lose your self as well. Walking around high school I can say that there are some of the most pathetic girls out there. And its truly sad, how a great thing can go to such a waste. Sure you may talk all big and act all big but your just a pile of shit, sure u see guys as a toy and run around with 3 at a time, all it says is slut around your name.

High school, great learning experience, and the beginning of a life journey, but sometimes it seems as if it where worth less. The people you knew no longer are the people you knew. We all grow and change, and people come and go. So if you’ve been replaced your walk away cause some one more worthy will come along.

Broken hearts, are also part of high school life. You may say you love her/ him but do you really know the meaning of love? Do you truly know the feeling of losing a loved one. If you don’t, think twice before saying the words “ I love you” .

High school , some love it some don’t, it all depends on you, some keep there words of friend ship and some simply turn their back on you and walk away.